I am surrounded by strong women. Women who are resolute in their beliefs and firm in their conviction that they usually know better. They are fierce and independent, keeping people in their lives by choice — not by chance, circumstance, or social convention.

I firmly believe that it takes a village to raise a child while remaining sane. Even if the idea of the village is contestable by some, I still believe there is great value in having many people who actively show their love in a child’s life; something we practice by raising our children in an extended family with involved grandparents, devoted uncles and aunts, and friends who have become family. With that in mind, the fact that Despina, my almost four-year-old daughter, is shaping up to be a strong-minded and independent little girl is not surprising to anyone.

To put it mildly: the little one has clear preferences and strong opinions. She knows what she wants and when she wants it — and she is not afraid to demand it. While we picked up on the fact that she is strong-minded, it took all of us a while to grasp the extent of her authoritarian tendencies. You see, Despina also happens to be exceedingly cute. She speaks in well-articulated sentences using a playful tone of voice, while being a tiny person with fluffy, curly, light-brown hair, holding tiny handbags, occasionally five at a time. Her cuteness captivates all the adults in her life, who promptly comply with her requests.

The authoritarianism is not contained at home. It came as no surprise when her teacher informed us of her bravado at school, and how she insists that other children play the games she chooses, with little appetite for compromise. Receiving this feedback, I was flooded with consecutive, contradictory feelings. At first, I wondered whether she was actually able to establish and maintain friendships. When the teacher confirmed that she was, my second thought was how to explain that we must also consider the needs and feelings of others, without undermining her confidence. And seconds later, I simply lay back, feeling good about myself, proud that I am raising a strong woman.

In such a deeply unequal, manifestly sexist society that seems to hate everyone who is not a straight man, being strong and independent is nothing short of a survival mechanism. Being part of the group — the village — that equips a little girl with these skills makes me feel good about myself, while acknowledging, of course, that it’s the strong female role models in Despina’s life — Sunshine, my sister and my mum — who deserve most of the credit.

What’s interesting is that my strong-minded Despina also loves many typically “girly” things — clothes, accessories, and mannerisms. This contrast stands out sharply next to Sunshine, who is not one to wear dresses, makeup, or worry about her nails. As for me, I simply enjoy the contradiction between the two girls I live with — Sunshine, bookish and rational; Despina, playful in her dresses and offering hugs — while trying not to upset either of them. Because, truly, you don’t want to mess with these ladies.

This is part of a series of entries titled Fatherhood Diaries where I record thoughts on life as a new dad. Click here for all the Fatherhood Diaries.